Parenting Ain't for Sissies

Or at least jet lag isn't. Oh man are we tired. We are beyond thrilled to be home, but getting on a schedule has been a little bit rough. Our sleep-through-the night princess has decided she's not sleeping through American nights yet. Although last night was a big breakthrough and she slept from 1:00-7:30am. She only woke up a few times and as soon as told her we were right here in her room, she went right back to sleep. 

She is starting to display great signs of attachment, yet still scared as she realizes this might be permanent. I don't think she really knows what permanency is so it's a scary emotion for her to think about forever loving someone an having that in return. She looks to us for reassurance both at home and in a crowd and last night she met her Aunt Kelly and did great. She's also throwing temper tantrums from being so tired, but that is good. It shows she feel safe knowing we will love her even if she acts out. And we know they're over because she starts asking for us as she cries. 

She has taken a major turn of favoritism and decided that I'm the best and her dad is chopped liver. It's actually sad to watch and I'm hoping that as she gets more sleep, she will go back to being great with both of us. He's had to return to work and he comes home early yesterday and she wants nothing to do with him. It actually made me cry, but we are all so tired that it seems ok. 

At this point, we need prayers for sleep and sharing the love with daddy. He is the best and I want her to show him this. 

Arriving in the US and officially becoming a citizen

Checking out her new room

It's just like having a puppy!

We are zeroing in our last adventure of this trip...26 hours of travel an we are finally home. I've held it together for the most part but today when we were handed a certificate from the US Attorney General that said (in this order) her name, date of birth, city, state, country of birth, adoptive father, adoptive mother, date of adoption, and city, state, country of adoption it made me cry. It was all in past tense. Done. Finished. She is forever ours as recognized by the Chinese and American governments. When we land in San Francisco tomorrow, she is a legal US citizen with two parents.  And then thought of coming home began to overwhelm me. No, not the thought of traveling for hours and hours with a toddler scared me, but the overwhelming love we are coming home to. Our sweet girl has no idea how many people already love the daylights out of her and want nothing but for her to be happy and loved. We are coming home to such a huge family both literally and figuratively and I hope we always appreciate this.  Each person who reads this and many more who do not, have been so wonderful to us and we are just boring adults. I can only imagine how they will feel the first time they hear her squeal with delight or say their name.  We are also leaving an incredible family here that we built over the last two weeks.  Karen and Jeff have been with us since day one when we were both still just couples without kids.  We have bonded over first time parenting and eating more noodles than stars in the sky. We have laughed at our kids songs and delighted in people complimenting our children. We've also protected each other when we are followed by curious locals and been each other's photographer for this new chapter in our life books. Our children have become friends, pointing and smiling when they see each other and then speaking mandarin and laughing until they fall on the floor. It is probably a conversation about our parenting skills but I'll take their joy no matter why it comes. And they only say one or two words at a time so we must not be that bad. Saying goodbye to them was the only sad part of leaving but we have created bonds that will last hopefully a lifetime. Our final request is that you say a prayer that we have easy travels and we look forward to seeing you on the US side!!

Deck the harrs with berrs of horry

Merry merry Christmas to everyone and hopefully you are celebrating with fabulous friends or family.  We are at the end of the day here and it was the best.  We didn't even have presents and we had a great day! Maybe we were finally reminded of what it's all about...the love of Jesus and sharing that love with others.
Yesterday we got together with other adoptive families and the dad of one of them is a pastor.  He lead a Christmas Eve service and we enjoyed singing carols and reading scripture.  The princess made it through most of the service listening and being quiet.  Not bad for a two year old!! Then we all went a riverboat cruise and looked at the Christmas lights around the city.
Today we slept in and just enjoyed being a family.  Really we just enjoy watching her and how she explores things, so there's built in entertainment. After breakfast we ventured to the park where an elderly couple gave us the thumbs up for adopting her.  It means a lot to have the respect and blessing of older generations here as they are very important in society. Then we went to the local markets and bought traditional outfits  and other cool memorabilia.  This is an amazing place with tons of people and celebrating the day through them was great.
Tonight we had Christmas dinner with everyone at the hotel and Santa even came.  We aren't too sure about him yet, but by next year, I'm sure he will be something important in her life!
It has been a wonderful trip, but we leave in about 36 hours and are eager to be home and sharing our bundle of joy with everyone!

Kirby goes BLAAAAAA on Douglas!

Today was an adventure almost from the moment we walked out of our room. At breakfast I let her pick out what was for breakfast and she chose scrambled eggs and bananas. Two of them to be exact and I said sure. Well when you go from half a banana to two in one meal, it comes back to haunt little bodies and this case it did! She puked all over herself and her daddy when we were on a group outing to the zoo. And I took out her change of clothes yesterday. And packed a banana for her snack. We learned how to hold a baby, clean vomit and hide a banana all at once!
We arrived at the safari zoo and had a blast. They allow you to get right up next to the animals and feed the giraffes. We watched them toss raw meat to the bears and tigers and saw the baby pandas they are trying to raise.
We finished the day with dinner at a Mexican food restaurant and it was amazing. The food tasted great, but even more so because it was a change from rice and noodles and we were with two other adoptive families. It was a great day!
Tomorrow we go to the US Consulate to take her citizenship oath and apply for a visa. We also helped organize a Christmas Eve church service for all the families here. It should be another great day and then it's Christmas, pick up the visa Thursday and leave Friday!! We can't wait to be home even if it's been amazing. 

The true Kirby is arising

It feels like initiation has begun into the best club ever. The Parent Club is one of honor, joy and grace. It isn't a club for everyone and I love the people that know it's not a club they want to join. I imagine that some days I'll want to live vicariously through you do please don't let me down:)
This club has been one of joy, honor and grace. I've never experienced such joy as hearing a sweet voice call me mama or feeling victorious when I can soothe her tears. It's also an honor that someone would choose us to parent and give us the opportunity to love on this little girl. And it's a club of grace; we've been pooped on, peed on, and today puked on all because we forgot to do things right. I know she forgives us because we love her and it reminds of the unconditional love of Christ. May I always remember to love her and her daddy in the same unconditional way.
And while I've joined this club at a different phase than most parents, I'm in awe of every other member I know. Each person who loves a crying a baby, rebellious teenager or ungrateful college student has my awe. I have thought back to some of those terrible judge mental thoughts about parents and their ill-behaved children in the past and I'm sorry. As we walk this path, I realize that most parents are doing the absolute best they can with what tools they have with their specific child. None of us have walked in their exact shoes even if we've been on parallel paths.  May we all honor those who do their best as that's all we hope for from ourselves and our own children. 

Pics will come later

Hugo's Replacement is cuter and quieter!

We have made it to the land of 15 million people and it feels much more commercialized and Western than Wuhan. It isn't near as polluted, but this only means you can see about three city blocks instead of one. We had a late night flight and she was amazing.  She cried a little at the end but only out of total exhaustion. And she has adjusted to our new hotel great as well.
These are weird concerns, but when you have a kiddo that has moved around without a consistent caregiver, it makes sense.  We found out right before we left Wuhan that she had only been at the orphanage since August. This means that she has had three different "homes" and a multitude of caregivers in her two and a half years. She has bonded to us like we never could have imagined especially understanding her background.

Today she had her visa medical check and she was a rock star.  There weren't any tears from her throughout the process and she greeted every doctor with a wave and a "Hi!" At the very end, they draw blood to test for TB and they do it in a room without the parents.  She cried when they started to close the door (another great sign she is attaching to us) and came running to us when they finished.  The tears lasted only until we could get snacks out of the bag.

We also took her out for American food at a cafe next to the hotel.  She only liked the scrambled eggs and French fries and passed on chicken nuggets.  She also passes on all seafood except salmon which is fine with me! Today she also stopped eating before she cleared her plate.  It seems like she has learned that there will always be enough food and that we will find something she enjoys eating. These signs of comfort mean a lot to a mom!

Kirby Rin or Kirby Lin

Our little copycat is ours  according to the Chinese government.  Yesterday we went to the notary and did a final check of papers before filing them.  It was so neat to see the adoption decree with our family picture and information, but as with all great things in parenthood, there seem to be the occasional tiny sad things.
The paperwork begins with her name before adoption and then her name after.  The very next line says, "Identity: Foundling" my heart broke that her government will forever identify her as such. I wish the identity had been so personal and said something like abandoned because while she was supposed to be a McIver, it was not her fault that she was left to be found.
Enough of the sad stuff, yesterday was great.  We went to the Yellow Crane Tower which is famous in China for legends and poetry.  We also went to another local restaurant. In both places, people stopped us to tell us that she was the most beautiful baby they had seen.  One woman asked if she could take a picture of her because of her beauty.
We also watched her figure out which lid fit which bottle without help.  She watches us do things and then does them the same. We've mastered blowing kisses and copying all of Douglas' silly faces. She also will ask for help by taking our hand and putting it on whatever she needs help with.  If Douglas "can't" remember how to do it with his right hand, she gets his left hand to do it.  She is training us so well! (And I promised Douglas that won't be obnoxious for too much longer and brag about her daily)
Today we pack up to leave for Guangzhou which is the final step on this journey.  There we will meet with the US consulate and get her visa for entry into the States. And one week from today we will be adventuring home.